16. From Jane Austen to Zadie Smith — Advice from Women Writers for a More Productive 2021

KIM: It’s the first week of January, and you know what that means, Amy…

AMY: Let me guess: I’m going to say falling off the wagon from the New Year’s Resolution you JUST made, like, five days ago.

KIM: Probably [laughs]. Everyone’s like, “Mm-hmm, that’s me.” So, what’s the key to NOT letting that happen?

AMY: I’m not sure, because I’m really not in the habit of making New Year’s resolutions. Do you?

KIM: I usually jot some things down, and then I immediately forget about them for the rest of the year. But, you know, they say that if you can do anything for 30 days it becomes habitual. So I guess that’s one place to start.

AMY: Yeah, it’s a place to start, assuming you’ve taken the first step. Which in a lot of cases, is actually the hardest thing to do. There’s a quote from C.S. Lewis who said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” But, I mean, really what’s the difference between setting the goal and dreaming the dream and actually making it happen? There’s a big difference, I think. And I feel like that’s a question for you, Kim, because between the two of us, you’re the one who is always thinking big for the both of us.

KIM: Hmm. Maybe that’s true, and I guess now that you mention it, I’m thinking I may have a little something in common with Mrs. Spring Fragrance. She’s actually one of the protagonists from the short story collection by Sui Sin Far that we featured in our last episode. And in case you haven’t listened to that one yet, she comes up with these unlikely, yet really creative ideas to help her friends and neighbors with their romantic problems. And she was very successful at following through and making it work! That said, in my case, sure, I can come up with ideas, but without an accountability partner, (and one who happens to be really smart, really creative, super organized, and doesn’t take any crap, I might add), I wouldn’t have made it this far I don’t think.

AMY: Oh, I’m blushing, Kim. And I am going to start calling you Mrs. Spring Fragrance, by the way.

KIM: I like it.

AMY: It’s a good analogy. You are like her. I’m the pragmatist between the two of us, I think, and that can be my own worst enemy. Sure, in many instances in life it’s very helpful to have that sort of mentality, that sort of healthy skepticism about what’s possible and what’s not possible, but when it comes to empowering yourself, those kind of mental “reality checks” that I tend do in my head, those are like a hand-brake that hampers me. I can always seem to find a MILLION reasons not to do something because I think things through way too much.

KIM: I know you do. [laughing]. But luckily I’m here with a million and one reasons why we should do it.

AMY: Yes, and listeners, you should know that Kim is the person that just comes up with these ideas like: “We need to go to Argentina next Saturday!” And you’re like, “Umm, what? I don’t think that’s going to work, Kim!” Maybe not so much anymore, now that you’re married and have a child. You’ve kind of toned that spontaneity down a little bit. But you always have these big, big, big ideas, and I’m like, “Sure….”.

KIM: I know. You humor me.

AMY: But I do think that you’re the person who first prods us into an idea and then once I’ve steadily ruminated on it for many days or weeks even, and I can distill the idea in my head, in a lot of cases I come around, and I’m like, “Yeah, we should do that!” That’s the case with the blog that we first started almost 20 years ago, and also the book series that we wrote and now, with this podcast even. You had been talking about it for a while before I was like, “Ah, yeah, that’s exactly what we should do!” But I was a little hesitant at first.

KIM: Yes, so I just want to say you did come up with the idea for the Lost Ladies of Lit, that that would be sort of the concept, so… I wanted to do a podcast, but you actually brought us around to what we would do. So. 

AMY: I think that’s part of the way that we work.

KIM: Yeah, we usually are completely in sync when we know the idea is right and we don’t look back. We could have sat around for months talking about it and planning and thinking about it and questioning ourselves, but instead, we decided to just go for it. We did it and here we are!

AMY: We’re still learning as we go, obviously, but it feels good to have set the wheels in motion. And speaking of Lost Ladies of Lit, it got me wondering whether we can sort of glean any New Year’s wisdom from our literary ladies, tips, perhaps, on how to become a “do-er” and not just a “dreamer.”

KIM: Oh, I know we can. Amy and I have compiled a list of quotes from women writers that we think can inspire us (and hopefully you) to have greater productivity in the new year. 

AMY: Alright, so we’re going to begin with George Eliot. She has a quote: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” The takeaway is just very basic: don’t make excuses, you know? It isn’t too late. I think so many times we feel like, “Oh, in another life, I could have been this…” or “If only I had done that when I was younger…” and it doesn’t matter. Don’t make excuses, just find a way and do it.

KIM: Considering I’ve always felt a little bit like a late bloomer, that one really speaks to me. So here’s one from Emily Dickinson: “The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.” 

So, my takeaway from that is that you need to be flexible, ready to pivot, ready for opportunities. Actually, I have a note on my bulletin board that says: “Enjoy the experience, make it a great memory.” Luck is the convergence of preparedness and opportunity. So, Amy and I already had a manuscript for our first book. It was in a drawer, so to speak. It was actually on our computer. When the call came for a submission to the person who became our editor, it was there waiting. So you have to be ready for opportunity and be willing to keep an eye out for it when it’s about to show up. 

AMY: Yeah, actually at the start of this pandemic, I had been reading a nonfiction book that was all about the science of luck. Two scientists got together and studied why are people lucky. And those were the two main takeaways. It was about yes, being at the right place in the right time, and there are certain ways to position yourself for that, but also being prepared when that opportunity strikes, and if you don’t have both of those components, you’re going to miss the ball, basically. So I love that quote. So, of course we have to have something from Jane Austen, right?

KIM: Of course.

AMY: She said (or wrote, I guess you could say): “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” The lesson there? Easy enough. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t say “can’t” and then also don’t let others say it for you.

KIM: I want to put that on my bulletin board, too. That’s good. Thank you, Jane. I have one from Mary Shelley, and it’s simple, but really wise: “The beginning is always today.” And I think that’s true. I love that message, it’s really freeing. So basically, don’t wait. There’s no time like the present. But also (this is really comforting), every day is a fresh start. 

AMY: So don’t beat yourself up when you feel like, oh, man, I should have been doing more on my goal, or I should have been, or I really blew it for the past few weeks (or whatever the problem is). Instead of having that mentality, have the mentality like, I get back on the tracks today. And also, just take things in little pieces sometimes. Sometimes it’s just one foot in front of the other. Today, I can write an email. Today, I can do a little brainstorming memo for myself. Whatever, even if it’s just a little bit every day towards your goal.

KIM: Yeah, I think that’s really true. I totally agree with the idea that, just taking a little step toward your goal is a lot easier to bite off than trying to envision your end goal and get there.

AMY: And it can start momentum, like a snowball rolling downhill.

KIM: Exactly.

AMY: Zadie Smith, who isn’t necessarily a “classic” lady of lit, but I thought she had a really good quote, so I wanted to include it. She said: “Protect the time and space in which you write. Keep everybody away from it, even the people who are most important to you.” Now, in some ways that feels maybe a little selfish, especially if you have a family to consider, but I don’t see it like a selfish sort of way. I see it more as learning how to say “no” to the things that don’t matter. There are some things that you need to just let go and you have to prioritize your own ambitions. I think as women, sometimes we want to put everybody ahead of us. We want to serve everybody else first, and then when the time comes to work on our own things, we are just out of gas. The only way to make a switch with that, is to find time… my time and space is often the middle of the night, because that’s when it’s quiet. That’s when I know I’m not going to have anybody tugging me in a million different directions. I’m going to just have several uninterrupted hours to do what I need to do, and it sounds crazy and maybe I’m part vampire, but to me, I feel better about myself if I’m getting stuff done. I usually wake up in the middle of the night and my eyes pop open and I need to go and take care of business. And so I will, and then once I get it out of my head I can sleep. So, that’s kind of how I address it.

KIM: Okay, so I have one from Toni Morrison: “If there’s a book you really want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” And the takeaway from that is, if you see a space for something, put your passion into it, do it and see what comes of it. So have a passion for what you’re trying to accomplish. See the spaces where there’s room for things, and fill them.

AMY: That’s basically what we’re trying to do with this podcast. I think if there are listeners out there (and we know that there are, which is amazing and fun and great), but really, Kim and I do it because we love doing it and it’s fun, and if we had no listeners, we probably would still do it because it’s just a passion project for us, and it’s a time that we get to spend together, so when you’re having fun doing something, you’re more likely to put the energy and effort into it.

KIM: Absolutely.

AMY: Okay, I have one from Octavia E. Butler. She said: “First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit will help you finish and polish your stories. Inspiration won’t. Habit is persistence in practice.” Obviously, she’s talking about writing here, but I think it applies to anything. It’s what we said at the beginning about New Year’s Resolutions. When you do something for 30 days, it starts to become ingrained in you, and suddenly it’s not an effort anymore. For me, I think, especially with writing, there is a combination of habit and inspiration. I mean, I still rely on inspiration, but I don’t think you can be inspired unless you’re putting yourself in the mindset and putting yourself in front of the computer monitor. 

KIM: One hundred percent. I think a lot of people wait for inspiration, and I think I used to do that, and I realized the only way inspiration’s going to come is if i sit down and start writing or start doing whatever it is I want to do. And then the inspiration comes while you’re there actually putting in the work. That daily practice of writing, or doing whatever it is that you want to do, it sort of makes room for inspiration to arrive a lot more often.

KIM: So I have one from Isabel Allende, and this is: “You only have what you give. It’s by spending yourself that you become rich.” I love this one. So this is twofold for me. One, it feels like the more that you put out there, the more that you have within yourself. So it’s not like you’re going to run out of inspiration. It’s not like you’re going to run out of ideas. It’s not like you’re going to run out of creativity. It’s all in there, so keep spending it. Don’t be afraid. Don’t hoard it. And then also, invest in yourself, whether it’s financially or with your time, because what you have within is the thing you have to offer the world, so it’s important to invest in that. Yeah, I sound really wise.

AMY: [laughing] You are! You are! Okay now, I have one from [I always call her An-EYE-is Nin, but is it ANA-EES Nin?]

KIM: I think it’s ANA-EES.

AMY: Okay, Anais Nin: “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” I’m practically almost choking up reading this one, Kim, because that friend, to me, is you. And I have such a clear memory of meeting you and my life changed after I met you because we started working together and I can’t imagine the path my life would have taken if I hadn’t met you that night. Just knowing that that instant changed everything because we went on to do so many great things together. 

KIM: I can still remember that moment, too, and then sometimes I just stop and think about all the things that we’ve done since we’ve known each other and it’s kind of… it’s pretty amazing. It makes me feel really good. 

AMY: Yeah, absolutely.

KIM: I’m feeling a little choked up, too.

AMY: So basically, get yourself a “Kim” or an “Amy.” Find an accountability partner or find the person that inspires you. And maybe it’s not like a partnership like Kim and I have. Maybe it’s just somebody you check in with. You each have separate goals, but you’re sort of working in parallel tracks. Somebody that you want to exercise with, somebody that you want to have be your writing buddy. Whatever it is that you’re working towards, it helps to have somebody that can be your support system and your cheerleader. And also the person that holds you accountable.

KIM: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it can be a career coach, it can be taking a class. Whatever it is that you know you’ll be accountable to, that’s a real key in accomplishing things, especially for people who are givers. I have one from Nancy Mitford, which is very dry: “Oh, how television diminishes everything.” (I can just imagine her saying that.) But the takeaway from that… I think we can broaden that and say don’t get trapped in time sucks. It can be TV. It can be social media. It can be the rabbit hole of the Internet. But basically, the idea is to be conscious of how you choose to spend your time, and spend it deliberately. I know that’s not always possible, but if you can stop yourself sometimes and just think, Okay, is this really going to add to my life? Maybe I could be writing right now or doing something else that accomplishes my goals.

AMY: That’s a tough one for me because I love television. I love television way more than you do, Kim. I know that for a fact. But I think it also goes back to an earlier tip, which was “Find your passion.” Because when you do have something that you love to do, you’re willing to tear yourself away from… the TV or the Internet is not as exciting as getting to work on what you love to work on. Uh, Virginia Woolf… this is a famous one: “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” When you have been working for a while and you’re doing good, take a breather! Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses a little bit along the way, but also kind of reward yourself a bit. Kim and I like to reward ourselves when we hit certain milestones in our work, and one of our favorite things to do together is going to afternoon tea. And usually we work during the afternoon tea because we’re excited to talk about whatever project we’re doing, but that ritual of going to have this decadent high tea at a fancy hotel is one of our favorite things to do.

KIM: And I cannot wait until the pandemic that we’re in is over and we can actually go have afternoon tea again. That’s one of the things that I’ve been looking forward to.

AMY: For sure. So that’s all great advice, frankly, and hopefully we can keep that in mind for 2021 as we continue to work on projects together. Yet If anyone needs a new life plan and a path for achieving it, it’s the young heroine of our next novel. She’s a former shop girl who finds herself down and out (and living with her rich, but comically dour and depressing in-laws) following the death of her husband. 

KIM: Stella Gibbons’ Nightingale Wood is an interesting twist on the classic “Cinderella Story,” and it’s really every bit as delightful as Gibbons’ more well-known farcical gem, Cold Comfort Farm.

AMY: I so love Cold Comfort Farm (both the book and the movie) so I was so happy when you recommended I give this other book by Gibbons a read. I hadn’t really thought that she had any other books, so of course she does. I was thrilled to read it.

KIM: I knew you would love it. And until we dive into that one next week, you can check out our website, Lostladiesoflit.com. It has more information on this episode and further reading. And if you love this episode, please leave us a review. It really helps new listeners find us. Happy New Year, everyone!

AMY: Our theme song was written and performed by Jennie Malone, and our logo was designed by Harriet Grant. “Lost Ladies of Lit” is produced by Kim Askew and Amy Helmes.